I periodically get bouts of insomnia. When insomnia hits, I’m lucky if I manage to sleep a couple of hours in any one 24-hour period. Sometimes I don’t sleep at all for several days, then pretty much pass out for a few hours, then it’s a few more das of a couple of hours, then I have a massive sleep and I’m back to normal.
This bout has already lasted a fortnight.
I barely slept at all for a whole week (I think I have more fingers than I got hours of sleep over the course of the week), then I went to bed at 8.30pm and slept till 7am the following day, I thought that would reset my body clock, like it usually does.
But it didn’t.
Instead, my youngest son got ill, and I was back to square one – grabbing an hour or so here and there, not sleeping at all for a couple of days, and generally not having the energy to actually think, let alone cook anything healthy.
On top of that, it’s shark week, so I got the hormonal munchies. Basically, if I was awake, I was eating. And seeing as how I was awake for approximately 22 hours in any one day, that’s a lot of eating. Yesterday I ate to the point of feeling physically sick. It was dreadful. I just couldn’t stop.
Scientifically, it’s been proven that when we don’t sleep, our bodies can’t produce some essential hormone (or whatever it is – I’m not a scientist, I don’t bloody know!) that regulates out appetites and our ability to register when we’re full. I think this is partially what happened. A fortnight of not sleeping has depleted my “I’m full” chemical, and I’ve gorged myself so completely that I pretty much emptied the house of anything edible. I didn’t even enjoy any of it. To be honest, it was obscene and I was disgusted with myself, but I seriously didn’t feel I had any control over myself at all.
Anyway, the result of this piggery, combined with water retention, is that I gained an unprecedented 8.5lbs this week. It’s horrible. I feel absolutely hideous.
I have, however, got a handle on myself, and have started up a new food journal which will log twelve weeks of meals, along with loads of other helpful and motivational stuff. I’m feeling positive.
I’ve also packed the kids off to my Mum’s for the night, so, as I’m finally feeling exhausted enough to drop, I’m going to go to bed very shortly, and try to sleep. I will not set my alarm for the morning. I will sleep as long as I need to. I hope this will be the reset I so badly need.
Today I have been 100% on-plan, and have only used 8 syns, and all my meals have had loads of speed and free food in them. I’m getting my head back in the game. I can and will do this! No excuses! I’m re-evaluating how I approach the plan, trying to mix up my HEB choices, and also my approach to syns. Going back to basics.
And tomorrow I’m off to a music festival, so I’ll be packing a healthy lunch – most likely I’ll make sushi and fruit salad – to take along with me.
Back on it like a bonnet!